There And Back Again
by navnit
Summary: It was all the same; the body, the roses, the sunflowers, Lanie and the boys, all the same. What the hell was going on?
1. Chapter 1

Kate slammed her hands on the steel table and leaned in close trying to not to close her eyes as his scent invaded her senses. "People are dead Mr Castle," she said knowing full well that he was getting a peek down her blouse in her current position.

"I'm not asking for the bodies just the pictures." God the goofy face he made just made her want to grab his lapels and mash her lips to his but she maintained her facade.

"I think we're done here!" She group out and picked up the Tisdale and Fisk folder and stomped out of the room.

Closing the door she leaned back on it and shut her eyes for a moment. That had been harder than she had thought it would be. After spending almost every waking moment and most of her sleeping ones in his presence it had been disconcerting, to say the least, to wake up alone in her double bed in her old apartment which had been blown up by Scott Dunn.

She had screamed out loud as she spotted herself in the mirror in her room, thinking she was having a nightmare as she grasped at her short and maroon highlighted locks. Her first instinct had been to call Castle but the number that she knew he had was disconnected, she recognized the phone in her hand though; it was a flip phone she had still hung onto refusing to give in to the smartphone craze, she had owned that phone over six years ago, as she took in her impossible surroundings and her external appearance and her old phone it all clicked and she had sat rocking in her bed, tears flowing freely, in deep denial as the thought came to mind that the last seven years had all been a dream, she refused to believe it until she had gotten the call from Espo.

He said it was a weird one. 'Beckett flavored' as he put it and somehow it gave her a sense of deja vu. She almost called in sick knowing if she asked then Espo and Ryan would happily give her a break and take over but something made her get up and take her shower.

Methodically she rubbed her cherry scented shampoo in her hair, her disturbingly short, spikey hair. What had possessed her to style her hair like that anyway? She had loved growing out her hair again especially seeing the effect it had on Castle; he loved playing with her hair, when the sun had brought out the natural golden highlights in her normally dark locks he had almost swooned, and when she leaned over him and her hair fell around them cocooning them in their own little bubble as they made love... It couldn't have been a dream it just _couldn't have been._

But the evidence was all there; she had been feeling particularly melancholy that night and had fell asleep reading her mother's copy of In A Hail of Bullets and the half empty bottle of wine was quite telling... But no; she had a good imagination but there was no way she had made those years up, moments that she remembered being the happiest she had ever been with Castle and Alexis and Martha; her little family, the life she had made for herself. _It was just not possible_.

Just two weeks ago she had been planning another dramatic birthday bash for Castle, Alexis again her co-conspirator, she blinked through the tears mixing with the scalding water on her face and frowned. Was that it? Was this some sort of elaborate prank set up by the gang and engineered by Castle to get back at her for his birthday surprise. No Castle would never be that cruel to her, he loved her so much that even the chance that she might take his pranks the wrong way and push him away deterred him from even attempting them on her.

She ran her thumb down the valley of her breasts and felt the unblemished skin under her touch. She felt the sob escape her as she shuddered in grief at all she had suddenly lost. God she had hated that scar ever since she had gotten it but to find it gone after having it twitch and sting her chest for over four years now seemed to confirm the fact that somehow, someway her and her husband, Beckett and Castle, Kate and Rick, _Caskett_ ; hadn't happened. It was all a construct of her mind? How?

What was she going to do now without her anchor?

Without her reason?

Without her Always?

* * *

She was gasping for breath by the time she managed to exit the crime scene, it was all the same; the body, the roses, the sunflowers, Lanie and the boys, all the same. She had a hard time responding to them and their questions and only just managed to do her job properly without tipping them off.

 _What the hell was going on?_

This seemed to be the perfect time for Castle to chime in with one of his theories. Wait. Castle. She was supposed to go bring him in for questioning but with her flabbergasted mind she hadn't even hinted at the boys that she knew where the crime scene had been lifted from.

Her heart was pumping double time. She had been right, he life _hadn't_ been a dream. Somehow she had been transported back seven years to the day she met Castle, or maybe she had had a seven year long premonition about upcoming events in her life? Out of the two the time travel scenario seemed more plausible. Her eyes widened as she went over her ruminations again. Castle's influence must be getting to her if she was thinking about time travel and premonitions as plausible scenarios now.

God if she was transported to the past then she had to ensure that things played out exactly as the last time if she wanted that future with her husband. Well close to the exactly the same. The thought of Sorenson, Demming and Josh made bile rise in her throat same with thoughts of Meredith, Gina and God forbid Jacinda. Nope if she was being given a second chance there was no way she was going to stand on the sidelines and watch him bed other women. Castle was _hers_ in whatever timeline and she was going to make sure he would be hers forever. Always.

This time she arrived at the book launch well before it started and tried to scope him out before the hoards arrived. He wasn't there yet and she skulked around trying to be inconspicuous as she shot daggers at Gina and Paula as they collaborated to prepare for the fans arrival. Castle had freely admitted he had slept with Paula, now she wondered; had that happened before or after they had met, well if it hadn't happened yet it sure as hell wasn't going to happen now.

Gina had cast a suspicious glance at her then dismissed her as an early bird fan-girl, which let's be honest; she kind of was. She didn't really hate Gina but after that Hamptons/Demming fiasco she could never really like the stunning publisher.

She followed Castle's personal harpies as they walked out towards the entrance of the hotel and awaited Castle's arrival.

His red Ferrari screeched around a turn and came to dramatic halt as the door opened and the man himself emerged from the flashy car. Right on time.

He was a vision to her, decked in a dark coat with a light shirt underneath and large sunglasses hiding what was probably sleep deprived red eyes, he never looked more beautiful to her. She immediately smiled as she caught herself imagining voicing her thoughts to him _; Ruggedly handsome,_ he would whine and try to get him to stop calling her something girly as beautiful but he _was_ , a sight for sore eyes and hers were bleeding for him.

Somehow she felt his gaze sought her out and she turned her head at the right moment so that she was hidden behind a wall of fangirls. She didn't know why but she wanted his first glance at her to be the same as when they first met, when she was hauling him in for interrogation.

She had left an impression on him at that introduction, she knew because he had confided in her about it during one of their numerous pillow talks, he couldn't get the sight of her holding a badge and sarcastic smile as she spoke to him in that sexy tone that only she could pull off, out of his head. It did wonders for her ego and of course led to a particularly risqué bout of love making so she wanted this to go as smoothly as the last time. If Richard Castle wanted an impression then she was going to deliver her very best.

So she slugged through Gina's speech all the while surreptitiously following her husband, because he _was_ her husband and that was that, who was working his way through the throng of barely legal and some actually illegal women but there was something curious about him.

She had tried to steel her heart against the inevitable flirting and signing of chests and other appendages that would precede his usual book launch parties at this time of his life but curiously he wasn't doing those things at all; anyone who didn't have a book, didn't get a signature and anyone who flirted with him was gently and kindly rebuffed. It was disconcerting and so not the Richard Castle she had met for the first time. Of course he was still larger than life, engaging his fans and keeping them happy and on their toes but he seemed restrained, it was _odd._

When Gina announced him though, he took the stage just like before presenting himself arrogantly and nodded to the flashes of cameras and shouts from reporters alike and Kate had to hide her grin at seeing her husband in his element.

Soon he was off the stage and posing for the paparazzi with his ex wife, her back was turned to him so that she could hear their conversation but he couldn't see her. Kate winced at the biting words shared between the writer and his publisher, the bitterness between them made her wonder how they worked so well together, moreover how in the hell did they end up taking a vacation together? Oh right because she was hiding her feelings behind Tom Freaking Demming.

She spotted a shock of red hair and smiled at her step daughter whose nose was buried in a text book paying no mind to the party or her doting grandmother. She had grown so close to Martha in the years spent as her daughter in law and now she had to work her way back up in the eyes of them both. She glances back at her husband who was delivering a last ditch dig to Gina and smiled; he was worth it.

Kate shadowed her shadow over to the bar where he berated his mother for interfering with his work and smiled as Alexis backed her father up at Martha's nonchalant attitude over talking to Gina about his work. She had experienced first hand Martha's well intentioned but entirely too involved method of showing her love. But she didn't mind, long ago having accepted Martha for who she was.

She rolled her eyes at her mother in laws diva ways as Martha went 'fishing' as she put it then smiled at the interaction between father and daughter which was entirely too cute and adorable what with the role reversal; Castle whining and Alexis chiding. She did frown at him offering his daughter, a minor, champagne but shrugged knowing that he must have known she would reject it out of reflex.

"I just wish that for once someone would come up to me and say something new."

And that was her cue she reached out and tapped him on the shoulder. "Mr Castle?" She asked expectantly pulling out her badge. She was not disappointed.

He twirled around sharpie in hand asking. "Where would you like it?"

She tried to keep her smile in check but was sure some amusement leaked out. "Detective Kate Beckett NYPD. We'd like to ask you a few questions about a murder that took place earlier tonight."

She opened her eyes and stalked to the viewing room staring across the glass at her husband who was looking down at his hands the cocky, goofy smile no longer present.

She immediately felt a little bad for hazing him in there, she knew why he acted the way he did; half of it was expectations from Gina and Paula, his playboy persona sold books and that was that, the other half was that he believed he was on his way down and she knew no none beat himself up when he was down more than Rick Castle.

He had lost his inspiration and was struggling with his writing, coming off of a tumultuous divorce and being forced to still work with his ex, it all culminated into a very frustrated Castle. And of course he internalized it all, _she_ was his outlet and she didn't take on that role completely until they got together so right now all those feelings of resentment, anxiety, hopelessness combined with a lack of inspiration and constant badgering from his ex wife and mother made for a very unhappy Castle.

She had ways to make him happy but right now the most she could do was allow him to work with her without making it seem like she wanted him there. Castle loved a challenge and he considered taming her to be one of his greatest challenges that he had overcome. She never told him that she was mostly putting up a front as a means to fight her intense attraction towards him. She chose to let him believe that he had worn her down when in truth she had always been his. And him? Hers. Always.

She came out of the room and nodded at Espo to drop Castle home and sighed as she sat down at her desk wishing she could go home with him. She loved him so much and hated being apart from him for so long. A night alone was so not what she needed right now. Her focus was out as she ruminated but then her gaze sharpened as she realized what she was looking at and gasped out loud.

She grabbed for the elephant figurine and fumbled with the top until the catch gave away and she lifted the lid to retrieve the small cassette hidden in the compartment.

She grinned as she stared at the tape before casting a furtive look at Montgomery's office, her boss and friend Roy. Roy the third cop who was protecting her by making a deal with the devil. She shook her head to clear it. Castle was her priority but if she could take down Bracken with this tape and her partners help without getting Roy killed then it was win win.

She tucked the tape in her purse and tapped it with her hand smiling to herself. Yes she needed to plan this out because justice for her mother was important but she realised that her life with Castle was just as important of not more; she had already gotten closure, had the pleasure of putting the cuffs on Bracken herself with Castle by her side, it was just a formality this time around.

She had no intention of carelessly throwing her life away fighting a losing battle and losing loved ones in the process. No she was smart and with Castle she had the best chance to nail Bracken and make it stick. She was going to be patient and careful and she was going to do this with her husband at her side once again. Until then she was willing to wait.

* * *

"I think we're done here."

Castle let out a breath as Detective Kate Beckett granted him a last disdainful glare then stomped out of the room, as soon as the door closed he let fall the cocky smirk and he rubbed a hand down his face. God that had been harder than he had anticipated, Kate so close to him, so young and undamaged and so vibrant. Yet discontent, closed off, angry and hurt, still hiding.

His love was hurting and she didn't even know she was his love. Right now she hated him, he couldn't believe how much that hurt and yet the fire in her made him fire up as well.

He will be back the next day and he will consult just like he did before and he will earn back her love just like before because he deserves it, because they both deserved it.

End Notes:

 ** _Nice? Yes? No? Maybe? Tell me all about it in the reviews. Feedback helps me post chapters faster._**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Notes:**_

 _ **Wow! Blown. Away. By your reviews. You guys are fantastic! Seriously I'm not just saying that, the appreciation for this idea of mine had blown me away, so much so that two days later here I am with another chapter.**_

 _ **Full disclosure though; you guys may have heard of a certain Cyclone Winston wreaking havoc down in the Southern Hemisphere, more specifically on a quaint little island called Fiji? Yeah well that's my home and my hometown is one of the ones that sustained the worst damages.**_

 _ **Everywhere you look around here there's just debris and destroyed houses. Mine is one of the few that was thankfully spared with only the minimal amount of damages sustained. I realise that this sobering discussion is out of left field but there's a reason for it.**_

 _ **Because of the Cyclone right now the whole Country is without power supply. We are making do with a generator that keeps my phone charged which I use for writing. Now the reason for my recent flux in posting stories and frequent updates is because my business and work is basically running stagnant because of the Cyclone. I have a lot of free time on my hands without anything else to do except to read and write, so I decided to take this opportunity to post a couple of my stories over here.**_

 _ **As it is I expect that as soon as business returns to normal and I start working 7 to 7 again my updates will probably taper down to once a week, I hope. So please understand that I might update frequently right now, it will not be the norm. Of course the more feedback I get the more I'll be inspired to get off my ass and update so keep the reviews coming. And also keep the prayers coming for the victims of Cyclone Winston, I'm one of the lucky ones. Most weren't.**_

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

Richard Castle went to sleep on the night of his Poe's Pen Awards Ceremony happily content with his wife tucked into his side and most of his life making sense. The body drop had been a simple Jack shot Jill over Bill and was wrapped up well before eleven allowing the team of the twelfth precinct to turn in for the night with the unanimous vote to leave the paperwork til the morning.

He woke up alone in his bed which was unusual; these days Kate felt comfortable enough to snuggle into him and sleep til they were both forced to wake up, she actually surprised him most days now by actually grumbling over having to leave the bed to see to a body or having to wake up to go to work. Who knew Kate Beckett was such a snuggler?

Castle lifted his head up over the covers and immediately felt the familiar sting behind his eyes as he met the morning sunshine. He groaned as a headache pierced through his skull. God he had thought he only had those two glasses of wine last night; where had this hangover come from?

He struggled to sit up and shuffled to the edge of the bed to swing his feet down to the floor, he braved another squint into the punishing God rays and found himself face to face with a tall glass of water and two aspirin tablets sitting on his bedside table.

This brought back memories and feelings of guilt and regret. Alexis used to leave these in his room when she found him asleep and terribly hungover after one of his self indulgent nights trying to forget that he no longer had the drive to write.

Had Kate left these for him? How drunk had he been? He distinctly remembered the entire night where he gave his speech, ate with his friends then saw to the body with Beckett. After the husband was booked they returned to the loft where he made slow sweet love to Kate then fell asleep with her next to him theirs whispers of love and appreciation lulling each other into bliss.

Now he was waking alone in his bed with a hangover? WTF? He took the pills and felt the ibuprofen slowly get to work soothing his aching forehead. That was when he spotted the note. It was placed under the glass of water, written on a yellow post it.

' _Dad. Gone to school. Book launch don't forget. Be ready before seven. Love Alexis.'_ And there was a small sad face down next to her name _._

What the h-? Alexis hadn't left him notes reminding him of these things for years and he particularly remembered this note which was one of her last as her reluctant secretary until he got his life back together. He had eidetic memory after all which helped him in his speed reading and since writing was his thing he rarely forgot anything written down by him or someone else.

He kept it locked in his memory palace and it was never lost, we'll except for those two months, but he was not going to think about that. So why was Alexis writing the exact replica of a note she had left him seven years ago on the day he had met Kate for the first time?

Another reason why he couldn't forget the note is because every second of that day was purposefully burned into his brain because he was determined to remember the day that he had met the love of his life, his reason for being, his muse, his future, his Always.

He slowly dragged his aching body out of bed and into the bathroom and froze. What the hell? He had thought he had moved Bobba out of the bathroom? After too many screams from Kate in the middle of the night almost inducing panic attacks in him! He had moved the life size replica of Bobba Fett out of his bathroom and into a spare guest room that also held Linus, his Xbox, his pinball machine, poker table and his fencing equipment. It also held most of Kate's elephant figurines, the large portrait of her mother, her couch from her old apartment and her office furniture and computer. So why was Bobba back?

He got his answer when he glanced at the mirror and jumped back in shock at the almost unrecognizable young man staring back at him.

He was young again? WTF? He rushed out of the bathroom and dived for his bed digging his hands down the gap between the headboards and the the mattress hunting for his phone, he pulled out a flash drive, some lose change and the remote for his bedroom TV before he hit gold. He pulled out a 1st Generation iPhone and just squinted at it for a second. Seriously? He switched on the device and felt his heart sink at the date on the phone. It all started clicking into place.

He had time travelled.

Any other time he would be jumping for joy because of the possibility but the implications were hitting him like an anvil dropped from way high right onto his shoulders. He had time travelled back to square one. Beckett was not his wife, in fact a few hours from now Beckett would profuse her extreme hatred for him. He was nothing but a playboy millionaire whose books she read but didn't admit to liking in public.

Wait what if those last seven years he remembered was just a dream? What of Kate Beckett was just a figment of his imagination? No, hell be the first to admit that he had a good imagination but no way was Kate Beckett not real, no way had he dreamed up a life with her all in his head. _He had time travelled_. That was the only explanation that he could live with but that conclusion also had implications.

He was no longer married. _She_ no longer loved him. _She_ was out there somewhere probably soon going to find the body of Alison Tisdale and track him down and bring him in for questioning and come to the conclusion that he was an asshole and she was in no way attracted to him.

Maybe he could act like a little less of an asshole. But what would be the consequences of that? He recalled the story of the time machine where the protagonist tried to save his wife from certain death and always ended up making things worse and in the end the one thing remained constant, his wife still died in some way or another. It was meant to be.

Just like him and Kate were meant to be and if he fiddles with the course of events to try and get with her sooner? What if he made it worse? What if he set off a chain of events that would lead some how to Bracken acting quicker or 3XK targeting Beckett sooner? What if he ended up losing her because he refused to wait?

No as much as he hated to admit it, he would have to be the same dick head, asshole, _jerkface_ , cocky bastard that flirted with her outrageously while she asked her questions, then muscled his way into her life and stayed there until she tolerated him, then accepted him, then liked him and eventually loved him.

Four years? How would he wait that long. And what about Sorenson, Demming and Josh? Was he supposed to wait for her to realise that he was _right there_ once again? She was going to lie to him after getting shot, was he supposed to let her leave him for three months once again? Not call her out on her dishonesty?

What could happen if he did? Well everything could change or nothing could change but there was one thing he could not risk changing and that was her feelings for him; so as much as it made him want to vomit, he would have to endure it. He would have to sleep alone in his bed while his wife was sleeping with another man not even knowing what kind of turmoil he was experiencing.

And then what about after? When she came to his loft that night, rain soaked and pleading that she wanted just him. Their first time. Would he be able to take her back? Someone who he already thought as his wife sleeping with two or more other men while he pined for her and then he was just supposed to take her back? She wouldn't know what she did wrong but _he_ would and then what? What would keeping this secret do to him in four years? God his mind was a jumble and he only belatedly realised that he was silently weeping as be thought of the long road ahead of him.

 _Seven years_ he had given them, seven years and he hadn't turned bitter at the unfairness of it all but now? When he had had a taste of what could be and it's snatched away? How does he not resent that? How does he not resent _her_?

He pressed the balls of his palm into his eyelids. He was over thinking this. He'll take this one day at a time for now and if he thought there was something that needs changing then he would consider it, as it was now he was going to get dressed and attend his book launch and meet his future wife hoping that she would end up hating him just as much as she did the first time they met.

* * *

Castle tried not to look for her as he got out of his Ferrari but his eyes sought out every slender brunette with short spikey hair in sight even when he knew that she wouldn't arrive till later. His overactive imagination and pure yearning for his wife almost convinced him that he had glimpsed her slipping behind a group of giggling fan-girls but when he looked again she was gone, or more likely hadn't been there in the first place.

He pushed through the throng of female bodies cringing at the lewd proposition most of them screeched at him. Most of them were probably younger than his daughter would be in seven years and he felt like a lech because he was sure that a couple of weeks before this book signing he had taken one of these groupies to a hotel room and...

He shuddered at the thought and refused any body parts that were offered to him to sign, he politely declined sexual advances and genuinely smiled as he recognized actual fans of his books who offered actual books to sign. He wrote heartfelt dedications as Gina started her speech of _Murder. Mystery. And the Macabre_.

After sharing biting words with his publisher slash ex wife; even after his seven years of experience she still brought out the worst in him, he made his way over to his family trying to curb his enthusiasm at seeing them so young again but also reigning in his melancholy because of all the time he had lost with them; not all of the the upcoming years were sunshine and daisies but they had made some wonderful memories as a family and he hated that only he remembered them.

He let his old memories surface and allowed the conversation to flow just as before almost verbatim thanks to his superb memory retention. He chided his mother and she was nonchalant, when she left Alexis chided him and it was his turn for nonchalance. Then he started whining about how all of these parties were so boring, really getting into it when there was a soft tap on his shoulder and the most beautiful voice in the world called his name.

"Mr Castle?"

He smiled widely at his daughter and whipped out his sharpie. "Where would you like it?"

And as soon as hazel met blue he was lost once again.

* * *

 _ **End Notes:**_

 _ **Gonna end there. Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon. Sorry about the maudlin noted at the top, seeing the destruction here at home makes me kind of depressed. However I really do appreciate you guys initiative to review my works. Hope you liked this update, I'll see you with the next one. Bye!**_


	3. Chapter 3

**_Notes:_**

 ** _Okay first thing, thank you guys so much for all your prayers and condolences for the people suffering from Cyclone Winston, I deeply appreciate the heartfelt concern you have shown towards them. I am pleased to inform you that the terrific response from overseas countries and our own government alike has helped alleviate a lot of the concerns that are prevalent_** ** _at a time like this._**

 ** _Rations have been provided to most people affected by the Cyclone and the government had worked hard to ensure that water supply has been restored to most homes. Now, electricity is still out but it has been promised that by the end of the coming week we will have power in most towns and hospitals._**

 ** _As I mentioned before; me and my family escaped mostly unscathed from Winston but most of my neighbors still remain without half or more of their roofing and some people we know have only one or two walls remaining intact. It's a sad time for the people of Fiji but the effort and genuine help from disaster response teams, overseas volunteers and even our own locally affected citizens gives me hope that soon we will be back on our feet. Your prayers are with us. Thank you so much for your support._**

 ** _On to the reviews, they were awesome as usual and some very constructive criticism has helped me flesh out this next chapter better, so keep 'em coming and thank you again. Enjoy!_**

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

Kate slept fitfully that night; she was in an unfamiliar bed, she wasn't in her home and her husband wasn't next to her. All throughout the night she kept waking up due to bizarre dreams about the next day; Castle walking in with some bimbo in his arms to him not showing up at all.

She had tried to keep her first meeting with her husband as close as possible to their first one but she was still nervous that one of the other things she had changed, like taking the cassette from her mother's elephant family, would affect their future and mess them up.

It was with bleary eyes and a heavy heart that she dragged herself out of the bed and stumbled into the kitchen to make coffee. She rang up the precinct requesting a couple of uni's to meet her at Black Pawn Publishing House to collect Castle's fan mail and drank her plain boring old coffee before getting ready to tackle the day.

She could have dropped by her favorite coffee house and picked up her usual latte but that was Castle's job and she was determine not to drink it until he himself handed her a cup of that delicious elixir, it was because of him that it tasted so good to her not the coffee itself. So she was abstaining until he came around.

She tried not to peek into Montgomery's office as soon as she arrived at the precinct instead handed off the fan mail off to the sergeant like last time. Though this time she refrained from making that derogatory comment she had made last time about Castle loving himself too much.

Espo came up to her and she was almost quivering with anticipation. She asked for an update from the lab and he said there was no DNA at the crime scene. She then inquired about any other connections they had found between Fisk and Tisdale.

 _Please be the same. Please be the same_.

"Other than your boy there? No." And she closed her eyes in thanks to any diety that was listening to her pleas.

She blinked back open to look upon the glorious sight that was her ruggedly handsome husband. He was standing slightly at attention as Roy spoke to him and his eyes were flitting about the bullpen no doubt searching for her.

She tried to curb in her happiness at seeing him again. She was, after all, supposed to be pissed at his interference in her life. But she didn't believe she pulled it off as convincingly as she wanted to although she was pleased that the Captain did stonewall her exactly like last time.

She spied a smirking Espo sauntering away from them no doubt wanting to gossip about this new development with Ryan. She stood there looking at a surprisingly docile Castle as he rocked back and forth on his heels. She tried not to smile at him willing her features into an annoyed scowl. _Wasn't he more gloating and cheeky the last time around?_

"Listen Detective. I'm sorry for barging into your investigation like this but I really think you could use my insight on this. A new perspective can't hurt, can it?"

Kate's eyes widened incredulously. _What the hell was he doing? Why was he explaining himself? Why wasn't he strutting around like he owned the place? Had she really changed so much by lifting that cassette?_ She swallowed hard and cast a pained glance at him.

"Mr Castle." and she stopped, _what was she supposed to say?_ He was being generous and accommodating and try as she might she couldn't really act cold and indifferent towards her husband. "Please go with Sergeant Holloway," she nodded towards the sergeant she had handed off the fan mail to. "Ask him to direct you to briefing where your fan mail is waiting. I'll be with you shortly."

And she stomped off in the direction of her desk. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him stare after her curiously before doing as he was told, which in itself was creeping the hell out of her. _Since when did Castle do as he was told?_ She picked up her bag and hunted in there until she came back up with the cassette. She stared at it for a moment then at the retreating back of her husband. If the choice was between her husband and the promise of their future together or hunting justice for her mother's case for which she had already gotten closure, then there was no choice at all, she would always choose him. Always.

She opened the catch back up on the momma elephants back and stuffed the cassette back into the hidden compartment, closing her eyes and praying that she was setting things right. She closed the elephant back up and strode up unhurriedly towards briefing and to her husband.

* * *

Castle was internally panicking. _What was going on? She hadn't sent him away the last time; in fact she had gripped his jacketed arm tightly and led him to the break room to ream him out for interfering in her investigation._ Wincing at that encounter he had tried to placate her this time around, before she blew up but then he saw panic in her eyes and then she had sent him away, with Sergeant Holloway. Away from her. And he was _not_ happy.

He sighed. He couldn't risk things going differently this time around after all and that meant that his decision to not read her so invasively today was not going to fall through. He ran a hand through his hair as he surveyed the boxes of his mail scattered throughout the room. He was going to have to hurt her and he hated the idea. Hated the guy he was back then, the callous way he had opened her wounds, made her vulnerable. And he had to do it again, be _that_ guy again and it pissed him off.

He tried to reign in his ire as Kate strode in the room and passed him one of the boxes, taking another for herself. _This was more like it_. She studied him for a moment.

"Your fan mail," she stared unnecessarily. "We're looking for any threatening messages, anything that resembles our killers MO. You're well versed in psychopathic methodologies, so I'm assuming you can catch what stands out from the usual drivel these people write to you?

"Sure," he nodded then reluctantly added with a fake smirk. "Although I have to say Detective, most of my fan mail contains markers for psychopaths, as I said before." He leaned forward goading her. "Its an occupational hazard."

Beckett just narrowed her eyes at him and sat down. "Let's get to work, whether you think it's there or not there is a chance that our killer tried to contact you directly so we're going to have to go through the slog."

He shook his head wanting to find Kyle Cabots letter and be done with it, but that wasn't how it went down last time and this time would be the same if he wanted his future with her to remain intact.

Thirty minutes into his perusal of a particularly disturbing and risqué prose from what seemed like a sixteen year old girl he found himself studying Beckett, only he wasn't reenacting his past selves actions; he was genuinely observing his muse.

He couldn't help but compare his wife Kate to the Beckett sitting here in front of him. She was young but not carefree, he knew that _his_ Kate laughed more easily and often than _this_ Kate ever did. Put them side by side and there would be no doubt that his wife would look Beckett's seven year elder but in no way did her age detract from her beauty. This Beckett was beautiful yes but _his_ Kate was radiant, captivating and amazingly extraordinary. He'd like to think that his influence in her life led her to be that amazing woman he called his wife and now he was going to get to do it again. And while it would be a difficult road he was determine to prove himself to her.

* * *

When she caught him staring at her for the third time she called him out like before.

"The way your brow furrows when you're concentrating? It's cute." She tried to keep the blush from her face at his blatant flirting, god if those baby blues were weaponized... "Well not if you're playing poker, then it would be deadly but..."

She slapped the letter in her hand on top of the table and asked him what he was doing here, he answered with what she now realized was a genuine and frankly articulate answer; he was there for the story, which she supposed was partly true, she also knew he was here for _her_ , she was inspiring him, drawing him out of his writers block and the funk he found himself after killing off Derek.

"Most smart, good looking women become lawyers not cops, and yet here you are. Why?"

God did she really want to hear this? His acute assessment of her, only realising too late that he was crossing a line. But then again, this is what started it all, his conclusion that she was hurting urged him to investigate her mom's death on his own and while she had been pissed at him she also was grateful, because where she had spent ten years poring over those files without finding anything, he had spent a few months and found a lead which broke the case wide open, leading them to Rathborne who was Coonan, which led them to Raglan, McAllister and Montgomery's racketeering operation, then to Lockwood, Maddox and eventually to Bracken. His pushing and prodding eventually gave her closure and so she steeled herself to hear it once more from the man she loved and who she hoped would grow to love her.

"I don't know Rick," she tried to mock, his first name sounding foreign falling from her lips. He was Castle _. Her Castle._ "You're the novelist, you tell me."

* * *

God he couldn't do this, couldn't watch as his words shattered her heart into a thousand pieces behind her eyes. His words were meant to sooth her, to give her an escape and a place of security not cause undue pain and agony on her soul. But what else was he to do? He had already witnessed what happened if he changed a minute thing in his past, and this was a defining moment. It was because of _that_ pain that he pushed into her mother's case, it was because of that shattered soul that he tried to shield her from more pain and it was the need to take away that pain that he fell in love with her. So he couldn't just up and decide that one of the most monumental moments in their lives should not take place. He had to push through but maybe not as harshly as the last time.

"Well, you're not bridge and tunnel. No trace of the boroughs when you talk, So that means Manhattan, that means money. You went to college, probably a pretty good one."

He tried to tell her with his eyes what he couldn't say with his words; that he was sorry, that he wanted to take away that pain, that he wanted to gather up in his arms and never let her go.

"You had options. Yeah, you had lots of options, better options, more _socially acceptable_ options. And you still chose this."

 _God where were the boys bad timing when he needed it, he needed to stop before her wounds became too raw but once he started he couldn't stop. Not now. Not when their future depended on this._

"That tells me something happened." Were her eyes this soft the last time around? "Not to you. No, you're wounded, but you're not that wounded." _God I'm so sorry Kate._

"No, it was somebody you cared about. It was someone you loved." _Please let me stop._ "And you probably could've lived with that, But the person responsible was never caught."

And finally, finally her gaze dropped and her eyes filled with tears and his heart broke all over again for her. "And that, Detective Beckett, is why you're here."

* * *

The rest of the Tisdale/Fisk case went pretty much exactly the same with Castle pushing Beckett's boundaries and Beckett trying to maintain her boundaries and not jump in his arms and kiss him senseless, okay _that_ part wasn't exactly the same. He even got himself arrested for lifting Beckett's files but Kate was pleased yet again to receive the free signed copy of Storm Fall.

They narrowed their leads down to Harrison Tisdale eliminating Cabot as a red herring and finally cornering Tisdale and forcing him to make a run for it. She so wanted to take away Castle's handcuff keys at that moment but she knew what _was_ going to happen if she _didn't_ , the unknown result of taking his key and leaving him cuffed to her car could be anything and everything. She wasn't willing to take that risk.

Yet again the safety to Tisdale's gun was on the whole time and both Castle and Beckett came out of the encounter unscathed, booking Harrison Tisdale for murder in the process.

* * *

She spotted him standing a little ways to the side allowing the cops to do their job while he just watched from afar. She smiled and made her way to her husband recalling the forthcoming conversation with clarity. She had tossed and turned that night thinking over and over again that she should have accepted his offer to _debrief each other_.

She wondered what would happen if she would accept that offer when he offered it tonight? The first time, she knew as well as him that if she had slept with him they would probably never would have seen each other again; she would have quietly slipped out in the morning and refused to meet with him ever again much less work with him. The itch that they had both had at the time would have been scratched and they would have both gone back to their boring lives.

But what about now? She wouldn't be slipping out the door in the morning for one thing. And if she had him now, then there was no way she was letting him go ever again. Even if he was looking for a one night stand she would convince him to give them a chance.

So as she walked towards him she made her decision; when he offered her dinner and a debrief she would take it and never let go. She approached him, now a little nervous but a pleased smile on her face that she knew caught him off guard.

* * *

Castle watched as Kate instructed Espo and Ryan to charge Tisdale and take him to holding then turn and search for him. He was thrown by the genuine smile on her face as she spotted him then started walking over.

He mentally cringed at the memory of this upcoming conversation; 'd _ebrief e_ _ach other'? Really? How immature could he be? No wonder she didn't give him the time of the day._ He shook his head at his past self in shame.

He took Beckett in, in her untucked shirt and slightly rumpled appearance and her endless legs as she walked over. And he decided that while preserving the timeline was important, he just couldn't do it. He couldn't act like that man anymore and he didn't want to in front of her.

He would talk to the mayor tonight and arrange his consultation with her and also call Roy but _this time_ he wanted to leave a better impression on the Detective than before.

"Well I guess this is it?" she asked a hopeful smile on her face.

Castle thought over things for a moment before nodding. "It was nice meeting you Detective Beckett."

Beckett blinked. _Wait what? Where was the 'debriefing each other'? Where was the 'it would have been great'? Opening her up to her delivering of 'You_ _have no idea'? and her accepting his invitation. What had she messed up with now? God_ ** _this_** _was her chance._

"I'll see you around, Detective." He smiled that smile that stole her breath away and turned around.

 _No no no. This was wrong. He wasn't supposed to walk away._ _ **She**_ _was the one to walk and she was choosing to stay. To say yes. And he was leaving? No!_

He was a block away now.

 _Didn't he find her inspiring anymore? No he did, he had to. She was his muse and she loved him and he was supposed to stay and annoy her._

She felt tears fall with every step he took and she shook her head. All sense of right and wrong, of preserving the timeline left her.

 _No._

"Castle!" She yelled and took off after him.

He turned around at the sound of his name. He was feeling pretty good about his decision to be more mature, she would appreciate his efforts and maybe not hate him so much when he showed up at the precinct tomorrow.

But when she called him his heart stopped. That was _pain_ in her voice. No that was _agony_. He turned around only to see her closing in on him and almost crash into him. He steadied her by taking hold of her thin shoulders in his hands.

Tears were pooling in her eyes, overflowing and spilling down her lovely cheeks and his heart was breaking. _What had he done now? What had he changed that caused her so much grief_? Thoughts of preserving the timeline flew out of the window as he caressed her cheek and wiped away a few tears with his thumbs.

"Kate?" he asked gently. Wondering how he could make it better.

"Y-you aren't supposed to walk away," she said after she got her breathing under control.

He frowned in confusion. "What?" he asked brushing errant strands of her short locks away from her eyes.

"This isn't how it's supposed to happen," she said meeting tortured hazel with pained blues. She framed his face with her slender hands bringing her body closer to his. " _I'm_ the one who walks away. But I didn't want to this time and... and _you_ were supposed to offer dinner. W-we were supposed to d-debrief each other. What did I do wrong? Is it the tape? I put it back Castle. God you don't even know what I'm talking about do you? You must think I've gone insane."

Slowly but surely something was shifting into place in Castle's mind as he listened to Beckett frantically ramble at him. When he heard the words _debrief each other_ , he could hardly hope to believe, but her mentioning the tape and echoing his own thoughts about doing something wrong and he slowly began to hope. It _couldn't_ be possible but what if it was?

"Kate!" he said sternly slightly shaking her frame slightly to stop her vomit of words. "What are you saying? You're telling me that... that you r-remember?" he stuttered over that last word his hope palpable.

Beckett squinted at him through her tears. _Remember? What was_ _ **he**_ _saying?_ She studied his face, those beautiful baby blues and she recognized that look, it was the look they shared when they shared their most intimate moments. _Could it be? No. It was impossible but then so were the last three days..._

"Remember what, Castle?"

Castle hunted his mind for someway to confirm his theory and then it clicked. There was one word. One word that was simple and not meaningful on its own. But to them? It was _everything_. More intimate and meaningful then their 'I love you's'.

"Do you remember?" he took a deep breath looking into his wife's confused but equally hopeful face. " _Always_?"

The light turning bright in her eyes was all he needed to know.

"Oh my god!" She screamed, Castle wincing at the screech. "Castle? It's really you?" She leapt onto him and claimed his mouth with her own lips. He returned the kiss with enthusiasm before she pulled back and looked at him in wonder. "Castle I... I..." she had no words so she leaned back in and planted a bruising, passionate kiss on his lips again not caring if any lingering cops or pedestrians saw them.

When they pulled back to catch their breath it was clear that Kate wasn't going to be able to form words anytime soon so Castle tried himself.

"I went to sleep the night I received the award?" he half asked panting slightly, that was some kiss. "And I woke up alone in bed with a hangover, I checked the date and it was 2009."

Kate was nodding over and over again a wide smile on her face. "God Castle I thought I was the only one... I woke up alone in my old apartment, the one that had blown up and I saw my reflection and I thought..." she remembered her dark thoughts that night. "... I thought that I had dreamed it all, that my over active imagination dreamed the best years of my life." Her grip started to drop and tears filled her eyes.

She appeared to be drinking him in, her hands roaming his face and running through his hair. He basked in the attention, loving her tactile possession of him.

"I was so scared to change something Kate," he admitted, still not believing that she was here with him. "I wanted to start us early but what if we moved too fast and I lost you so I had to act like an ass..." he stole another kiss needing the feel of her to get his words out, he didn't notice the tears now flowing from his eyes. "the thought of you hating me again...? God it was unbearable."

She claimed his lips again, ignoring the salty taste of their tears. "I couldn't ever hate you, Castle." She said firmly after pulling back. "I didn't the first time and I didn't this time either. I love you. I'll _always_ love you."

Castle pulled Kate in again but this time it was for a heart wrenching hug. She wrapped her arms around his back, so familiar yet so different. _God they were so young!_

"God I love you so much, Kate," he whispered to her breathing her cherry scented hair. "It got a little hard to breath back there."

Kate nodded too choked up to really say anything now. She just wrapped herself around him as if she could merge herself with him. They swayed on the spot rocking back an forth to phantom music, so grateful. They were still seven years in the past. All that they had been through had been reset. And yet right now? With each other? They felt anchored and grounded once more. Their Always now had a new beginning.

* * *

 ** _End Notes:_**

 ** _Surprise! I'm a sap, I know._**

 ** _And now they know. To be honest I was never going to drag the not knowing for too long, they're both too smart to not notice the differences. Now we can get to the more fun stuff; what to do with their foreknowledge and of course catching up on the time they wasted the first time around. Hope you guys stick around for that. Keep the reviews coming in! Later dudes!_**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Notes:**_

 _ **So so sorry for not posting last week but as life has gone back to relative normalcy around here after Cyclone Winston, my work load has increased. As such it was a little difficult to update.**_

 _ **Don't worry I have no intention of leaving any of my current stories unfinished. Writing is cathartic for me so I need to finish this as much as you need me to.**_

 ** _At this moment I am boycotting Season 8 of Castle until it completes! Then I'll binge watch it skipping the stupidly unnecessary angst in the process. But just so you know, please don't include any spoilers for Season 8 in the reviews._**

 _ **Your reviews never cease to amaze. Keep 'em coming. Here's the next chapter. Enjoy!**_

* * *

 **Chapter Four**

Eyes closed, hearts free and hands clasped, they lost sense of time for a moment and lost themselves in each other.

Castles eyes opened first and he finally took in their surroundings. People were watching yes, but in New York they took it in stride and kept moving thankfully not jostling the reunited couple.

He belatedly realised though that at this time his life was more or less on Page 6 and this blatant display, if caught, could cause undue stress on Kate's job. Not to mention it would be harder for him to consult if they were publicly outed romantically.

So he pulled back eliciting a disappointed groan from his wife. "Castle..." she protested softly.

"Kate we have to get off the streets!" he said trying not to respond to her guttural growl. God she was so sexy, and completely unguarded which meant that he had to be the responsible one, which was just ridiculous.

Beckett finally opened her eyes and looked around. "Castle no one is looking at us," she replied exasperated, pulling him back.

"Kate," he pleaded hating to resist. "We could be caught, this could end up in the papers and then what?"

Kate huffed. "Since when is it a crime for a wife to kiss her husband? To hug her?"

Castle blinked. He wanted so much to say that it wasn't a crime, that it was right but the reality was that they weren't married right now.

"Kate be reasonable," he tried, wincing when she got fired up.

"Reasonable!" She almost shouted. "I have been reasonable! Three days of not sleeping beside you! Not being able to hold you! Having to act like I didn't care! That I hated you? I _have_ _been_ reasonable Rick! Now I want my husband back!"

Castle's heart dropped at the anguish in her voice and he pulled her to him again as she began to cry in earnest. He kissed the top of her head. "I'm sorry Kate. So sorry. I hated it too you know. The idea that you hated me, the thought of having to go through the next four years without you? Watching you be with other men? It was killing me to not be able to hold you or kiss you. God I love you so much."

He pulled her back and wiped her tears as her sobs subsided. She hadn't even realised how much emotion she was bottling inside her these past three days, she was a little embarrassed at her outburst but she meant every single word. It would take a force of nature, if that, to separate her from her husband now.

He smiled at her carefully. "What do you say we get out here, huh?"

She smiled weakly at him and nodded. "My place?" she asked and he nodded hailing down a cab, and she remembered her car. "Castle my cruiser is still here.."

He shook his head. "We're in no state to drive," he replied tugging her over to the waiting taxi. "You can come back for it." It was a testament to her exhaustion at this whole debacle that she neither denied nor challenged Castle's statement instead just shifted closer to him and allowed him to guide her into the cab.

She smiled as he told the driver where to go, amazed that he still remembered the address to her blown up brownstone. She snuggled into him and rested her head on his shoulder letting the drive lull her in to a content doze.

Beckett jerked awake as the car came to a stop and scrambled out to wait for Castle to pay the driver. As the cab left she hooked her hand in his elbow and they both took a moment to look up at her apartment, remembering that night almost two years away.

"Kate? Do we just wait for people like Dunn and Coonan to kill when we know who they target and when they kill?" he asked hesitantly. "What about the Plaza bombing? And..."

Kate placed a hand over his mouth silencing him. "I don't know Castle," she whispered. "Could we shelf that for later though? I want to just be with you tonight, please?"

Castle nodded his agreement and they shuffled off to enter her building.

They burst into her apartment in a frenzy of movement arms tearing off clothing from each other. They didn't make it to the bed that first time. They did the second time, then they got hungry and ordered takeout but left most of it on the coffee table as they christened her sofa, finally getting around to eating the cold Chinese they fell back in her bed and made slow sweet love into the morning.

* * *

She woke up to him stroking his hand through her short hair, she wrinkled her nose cutely and opened her eyes to meet his fascinated blues.

"I'll grow it out again," she promised moving closer and thrown an arm around his waist resting her head on his heart.

"I like it," he said diplomatically shifting to accommodate her change in position.

She lifted her head to grin at him. "Yeah but you like it longer right? And natural? Not this weird highlight that Lanie made me get."

Castle lifted her bodily over him and kissed her deeply. "You. Are. Beautiful." He told her between kisses. "Any way you look. I have loved every single hair style, clothing choice, and shoe type you've worn over the years." Kate beamed at him; she knew he was a writer but he really had a way with words.

He ran his fingers through her dark locks once again. "But it _is_ nice to touch you like this," he admitted quietly.

Kate smiled leaning into his hand. "Why?"

"Because I wasn't allowed to the first time around," he said and kissed her again.

Kate grinned remembering how he had flirted with her back then, it had grated on her when it was unprofessional but she wasn't above admitting that most of the animosity she showed him was the result of her trying to resist her intense attraction to him. Wasn't above admitting it to herself, that is. To _him_ though? His ego didn't need that much boosting. So she opted to just leaned down and kiss him again. It got heated real quick and before she knew it, she was moaning underneath him again.

They were like a couple of randy teenagers, it also didn't hurt that they were seven years younger and had much more stamina. Taking a bullet to the chest surprisingly stays with you for a while and intense exertion to her core usually on the second or third bout of love making ended up costing her some amount of breath. Not to mention that Castle was already seven years older than her so their sex life, while not lacking in anything, definitely was less frenzied and energetic before. Now though? With both of them at the peak of their physical fitness? With neither of them battle scarred from sniper assassin's, harrowing serial killers and well meaning day to day dirt bags? They could push themselves to the limit and then some.

Which they did twice in bed and once in the shower, it was a good thing that she had the day off after the Tisdale case or she might be in for a reprimand from Roy. Just because she was his favorite Detective didn't mean he pulled any punches.

Coincidentally it was Castle laying beside her, stroking any bare skin he could reach; which was all of her skin, who brought it up.

"You need to go into work," he said his voice very reluctant to the idea.

She just groaned into his neck. "Its my day off," she said burrowing her nose into its collarbone and sniffing the scent of Castle and her shower gel, seems like cherries suited him as well.

"Yeah," he laughed tugging on her locks. "But today is the day that Roy springs me on you, remember? And you didn't take time off last time, you were finishing up paperwork."

"I'll finish it tomorrow," she insisted now moving over him and straddling his waist, her short nails scratching his chest. "Paperwork's boring. You're more fun." She shifted her hips to emphasize her point.

Castle groaned and stilled her hips, using his larger frame he flipped her over and planted light gentle kisses on her lips, cheeks, eyes and forehead before pulling back to look at her fully.

"Kate," he said trying to catch his breath, _god this woman_. "If I don't call the mayor today like I did the last time, who knows what could happen. What if tomorrow Bob, or Roy are in too much of a bad mood to indulge me and I don't end up shadowing you? What if something unforseen happens because things didn't play out like it should?"

Her eyes focused at his words and she nodded slowly and reluctantly sat up allowing Castle to remove himself from above her.

"I'll go and change and call Bob to arrange my tag along," he said pulling his pants up over his hips and shrugging on his shirt while being observed by a very disgruntled Detective Beckett. "And _you_ need to get your best game face on because you need to be pissed off at me."

Kate snorted and stood up taking over his buttoning of the shirt. "I'll be fine," she replied kissing his sparsely haired chest once before doing up his collar. "I've got lots of practice pretending that I don't want you." She ran her fingers through his hair mussing it up just so, she didn't want him going home too put together after all. "But..." she bit her lip.

"What?" he asked opening his eyes, which had closed during her ministrations.

"Let's not carry it on for too long, okay babe?"

"What do you mean?" he asked concerned at the pained look on her face.

"We wasted _so much time_ ," was all she sad smoothing a hand over his brow.

"Before?" he asked watching as she tried not to meet his eyes.

"Mhmhm," she hummed as she stroked his stubbled cheek. "Not this time, okay?" she said finally meeting his eyes with a hopeful gaze.

"When?" he asked hesitantly wondering when would be the right time to get them together officially. Maybe after the Scott Dunn case? She could move in for a while and then never leave?"

"Before Will," she said decisively.

His eyes widened at that. "So soon?" he asked surprised.

She frowned. "You have a problem telling the world about us too soon Castle?" she asked shrewdly pulling slightly away.

"Hey, hey. No," he backtracked immediately pulling her flush against him. "Love, you know that if I could I would shout it out on top of the Empire State building with the world's largest mega phone. I'm just thinking about how plausible it would be for us to go from hating each other. To this," he leaned in to nibble along her collarbone. "in a couple of months," he leaned back smirking at her half open mouth and dilated pupils.

She shook her head to clear it from impure thoughts, _damn that man_. "Well, I certainly don't want anyone thinking I'm available, much less Will Sorenson. And if you remember, I had already considered you my friend right up till you decided to stick your nose where it didn't belong." She shot him a glare.

Castle winced, remembering their fallout after he revealed that he had looked into her mother's murder. "Yeah, not my finest hour. But what do you suggest we do?"

Kate finally pulled her nude body away from his and searched around for her robe, finding it hung over her bathroom door, she tied it up and pattered barefoot back over to Castle smiling as she watched his eyes track her every move. "Well, why don't we carry on the annoying facade for a couple of cases until maybe the frozen body case and then you could ask me out for a drink and we get together from there?"

He nodded. "That's a good enough idea," he replied fastening his belt and pulling his coat on. "But you're going to have to let me off the hook once in a while to make it plausible."

Kate raised an eyebrow at him.

"I just mean that you might have to show that you don't completely hate my guts and not jump down my throat at every word out of my mouth."

Kate smiled at that and pushed up on her toes to kiss his pouting lips. "Wanna know a secret?" she asked bringing her lips to his ears as he supported her with a hand around her waist. At his nod, she continued. "I never really hated your guts, or any other body part. In fact I was secretly overwhelmingly flattered that you chose me as your inspiration." She dropped back on her heels smirking impishly.

Castle answered with his own smirk and leaned down to actually take her ear lobe between his teeth making her shudder with want. "I knew you always wanted me." He pulled back grinning at her half aroused and half annoyed look and sauntered out the door, throwing a 'See you at the precinct.' back at her.

Kate stared after him for a moment as secret grin on her face before she danced off towards the shower, her mood way more improved than the night before. The _debriefing_ had been very much worth it.

* * *

Castle's call to Bob went as smoothly as before where he explained that he had met a certain female detective who had brought him out of his writers funk. Bob agreed that the attention from the press would do him good in the upcoming elections but just like last time he warned him that if at any point his shadowing was less than helpful or if Beckett vehemently refused to his interference than he would be out.

Castle assured him that he would be at his best behavior and Bob replied that that was what he was afraid of, he cut of the line saying her would call Roy and inform him of the developments. Just like last time though Castle called up Montgomery and told him off the new arrangements making it clear that his intentions were purely professional.

As he talked to Roy though, a sick feeling settled in his stomach. Roy was his friend, an honorable man with a good heart. His daughters called him uncle and his wife had given him a standing invitation for dinner at their house anytime.

And yet this was the man who had made a deal with the dragon for his wife's life, granted Castle had also done this but he had not made the deal with _Bracken_ , in no way would he have ever been able to live with himself if he had done _that_ and yet this man laughing and joking with him on the phone was the Third Man, partners in Raglan and McAllister's racketeering operation.

 _What was he supposed to do with that knowledge? And how was he supposed to talk to this man like before when he knew that the man was aware of his wife's mother's killer and had been sitting on that information for over ten years with nothing to show for it?_

"Castle? You there?" came Roys voice over the phone. He shook himself forcefully out of his dark thoughts.

"Yeah, Roy. I'm here, listen I really appreciate you helping me out with this." He said his voice sounding a little hollow but Montgomery didn't notice.

He let off a little laugh. "Oh it's not me you have to worry about regarding this little arrangement," he replied now positively chortling and try as he might, Castle really couldn't bring himself to resent this man.

"What do you mean?" he asked indulgently, even though he knew exactly what he meant.

"It means that I don't think that Detective Beckett is going to be as pleased with this arrangement as the Mayor seems to be," he explained now sounding positively giddy with laughter. "See you later Castle." and he cut the line.

Castle smirked at the receiver for a moment. "Oh don't worry Roy, I think Detective Beckett and I are going to get along just fine," and he put the receiver down and went to take a shower before getting ready to start his consultation with the NYPD.

* * *

 ** _End Notes:_**

 ** _So? How was that? Again no spoilers for Season 8 in the reviews! Other than that feel free to say anything you like... About the chapter that is. ;-) Until next time. See ya!_**


	5. Chapter 5

**_Notes:_**

 ** _'Sigh'. Typical internet. I ask for one simple thing;_** ** _Not_** ** _to spoil Season Eight for me. It was a reasonable request. It was a polite request. But there's always that one asshole, isn't there? That one dick head who, just for the fuck of it, wants to spoil your day._**

 ** _Here's the next chapter. Enjoy._**

* * *

 **Chapter Five**

Kate took a cab back to Tisdale's apartment building to pick up her cruiser and rode the Crown Vic back to the precinct. Before leaving the car though she doubled checked her face in the mirror to make sure she wasn't grinning like an idiot. There was a natural blush to her cheeks which spoke of their energetic morning activities and there was a smile on her face but she didn't think it gave anything away; she _was_ allowed to be happy.

She climbed out of the car and slammed the door shut, only to roll her eyes and slam it shut a second time, this time it stayed closed. She missed her Charger, _When was the department upgrading the Detectives units again?_ _Oh right, in five years_. She huffed at the inconvenience and walked over to the elevator.

Pressing the button for **Homicide** she waited for the doors to open anticipating how their plan was going to pan out.

As she sat down at her desk her eyes automatically landed on the mother elephant figurine, she sighed in agitation. Now that she knew that the changes she had seen in Castle's behavior after taking the cassette was his own and not because of something she did she was once again contemplating taking the tape and hiding it at a more secure location but it didn't seem right making that big of a decision without Castle's input. The cassette had remained there untouched for all the time that she had been Detective at the precinct and it had remained hidden until she herself had discovered it six years into the future.

She groaned as her head started to ache; all this time travel business was messing with her brain. She was the logical one, the rational one but this was something even she couldn't explain away, she needed her husband to sort all this out.

So Kate resolutely turned away from the figurine and pulled up the Tisdale file. It was a bore writing up reports without Castle there to entertain her, plus the fact that the victim and the murderer were both named Tisdale made it all the more confusing, she ended up needing to write the full names of the siblings in order for the report to make sense.

She also had to follow up on this case and inform Johnathan Tisdale of the events that had transpired between his son and daughter. The real estate tycoon had flown over to Boston for a business deal and was on his way back to New York his flight scheduled to arrive around 4pm.

The scandal of brother murdering sister over her inheritance was purposefully kept out of the papers until they could inform the father of the tragic events.

She remembered that incident vividly; she had been pissed at Castle butting into her workplace and had snubbed him to go deliver the news alone. She had watched as the dying man's whole world crashed down before him at her own words. This time she was determined not to go it alone, Castle would be there and her lack of anger at the writer would probably help her deliver the grave news more delicately. No matter the delivery though it didn't change the fact that she would be destroying a man's world this afternoon and this made her feel a little dead inside, no matter that she had done this once before.

She perked up though as Montgomery called her into his office. Anticipating this conversation she stepped into his office and met the eyes of the man who had mentored her and protected her all through her years as a cop.

The anger that came was unexpected but swift and it was fortunate that she was supposed to get angry at the news the man was delivering to her, though he didn't know that she was actually angry at _him_ and not at the news.

She seethed inside as she recognized this man as the third cop, the man who had brokered a deal with her mother's murderer and had hidden him from her sights, deliberately floundering her investigation all under the guise of protecting her and ultimately protecting himself.

One word to IA and he would drop, he would be put in jail and she could move in on Bracken and make things right. But then, behind her eyes she saw Evelyn clutching her two fatherless daughters as Montgomery's family wept at his funeral and try as she may she could not do it. She could not condemn this man and his family for trying to protect her.

She was still angry though which threw Rick of completely when Roy nodded his head at her husband and he came at the door to smugly stand before her as her new shadow.

His smile falterered just as Kate's vision cleared and she stepped forward in concern only for her to storm up to him and seize his jacket dragging him out of Roy's office and into the break room.

Castle stumbled through and turned around to protest her man handling until he caught the storm brewing in her eyes. He immediately closed the blinds and pulled her close to him settling her head on his shoulder and rubbing her back.

"It was Roy, wasn't it?" he asked softly.

Tears of frustration leaked out of her eyes as she nodded against his shoulder. "I know what I should do as a cop and as a daughter," she said gritting her teeth. "But I think of Evelyn and his daughters and I don't want to put them through that, Castle. And I feel like I'm betraying my mom because of it."

Castle pulled back and wiped her tears away. "Kate, this is _Roy_ ," He said earnestly. "This is your mentor. If he was really trying to only protect himself he could have easily have had you thrown off the force that first time he caught you in the archives. He _wanted_ you to find evidence. Ironclad evidence that would put Bracken away but until then he knew that without any protection, the minute Bracken found out about your snooping, you would be dead. He protected you by facing the Dragon. He loves you like a daughter and being a father I know I would do anything, even make a deal with the devil to keep her safe. You know that's all he did."

Kate nodded and wiped her face clean before leaning up to kiss him softly in thanks. They stayed wrapped around each other for a minute before separating and laughing a little at their overly emotional selves.

"Oh and speaking of ironclad evidence, there is a cassette tape inside an elephant figurine with damning evidence catching a certain senator red handed blackmailing three cops and revealing himself as a murderer."

Castle perked up at that remembering Beckett uncovering that tape before but the next second he frowned. "We reveal that tape now, Montgomery goes to jail."

Beckett sighed but nodded. "I know. But should we leave it there?"

Castle pinched his nose in frustration before nodding. "We know exactly where that tape remains for the next six years, if we move it now it's future changes and we don't know what other events we set in place from doing it. What if on the way to the new hiding place we get mugged or get in an accident? We lose the tape or risk it falling into the wrong hands. No our best bet is to leave it there forget about it for now."

Kate nodded again feeling her head ache leave her as Castle made a definitive decision for her. "The biggest problem we have, though, is not getting justice for dead people but what to do about people we know are going to die?" Castle looked at her weirdly. "I mean Castle! In about eight hours that Nanny whose murder we solved is about to be killed by that girl Chloe! Do we sit here and let that happen? With our knowledge? Is that really right?"

Castle closed his eyes not being able to meet her anxious ones with the answer he was about to give her. "Yes, Kate. We have to," He said finally and the silence that followed was deafening. "Playing with time like we have the opportunity to, could have the best or worst consequences that we could never anticipate. But what we can anticipate is what really happened and what was meant to happen. Kate everything we're doing here is to make things happen the way it was supposed to without anyone we care about getting hurt but if we start changing the course of time by saving everyone we knew were supposed to die? That's not making things right? That's playing God. And nothing good will come of out that. That ripple in time we cause by saving that Nanny? Could result in someone else who wasn't meant to die taking her place. What if it's Chloe? I mean she's deranged but does she deserve to die? And what if it's that little girl they looked after, Becca? What if it's her? And what of the ripple had unforseen consequences that set us on a course to lose each other or Alexis or Jim or Ryan and Esposito? What if..?

"Castle Enough!" She ground out and he stopped. "I get it okay? We have no idea what we would be doing by interfering." She slumped her shoulders despondently. "Its just not right, you know?"

Castle closed in on her and tipped her chin up to have her meet his eyes. "I know it's not right," he said softly. "But we have no choice. This time travel thing has given us a chance to catch up with our lost time with each other but our decisions ultimately will lead to the same result; you and me married and together forever. In the mean time we can get justice for our victims faster with our foreknowledge and maybe prevent some deaths that weren't meant to happen."

Kate nodded and wrapped her arms around him and squeezed herself into his embrace. When she pulled back she schooled her features into an appropriate scowl.  
"You're right," she answered meetings his blues with her hazel. "I know you are."

Castle smirked. "Its not often that I get to hear you say that," he said smugly and she slapped him lightly on his jacket covered shoulder in mock reprimand before stealing another kiss then straightening back up.

"Now look like I've been yelling at you this whole time for forcing me to allow you to shadow me," she turned on her heel and opened the door smirking back at him saucily. "We gotta keep up appearances after all." And with that she stomped out of the break room, a meek and thoroughly cowed looking Rick Castle following in her wake.

* * *

 ** _End Notes:_**

 ** _A short one. But better than none, right? Tell me how it was in the reviews. Bye._**


End file.
